TFA: What to do when living with the Autobots and Decepticons
by War Dragon 909
Summary: Oh look! Another set of rules. But for Transformers Animated! Request from Raphaelplusmikey.
1. Rule 1-4

**Dear Raphaelplusmikey, I am more than happy to do your requested.**

**And I hope you enjoy! :D**

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**Rule#1: Don't play loud music while Prowl's ****meditating**

(It was 'Bee's idea.)

(Okay, it wasn't 'Bee's, but he should have stopped me!)

(I didn't know Prowl was meditating.)

(Neither did I know that he hates being distracted from it.)

(All I did was turn the music up a little too high.)

(And then Prowl ruined it by breaking my stereo!)

(Stupid fragging ninja.)

**Rule#2: Don't comment on Ratchet's beer gut**

(He's anger issue is Megatron's and Hothead's love child!)

(What I'm saying is, don't mention the beer gut.)

(I asked him about it once.)

(I was found hiding on Dinobot island, covered in wrench marks.)

**Rule#3: Never fall asleep in Megatron's cockpit**

(But he's so comfortable and warm!)

(His seats are real wool!)

(I couldn't resist falling asleep, I'm sure you couldn't either.)

(I didn't care if he said that I'll have to sleep outside for the rest of the month!)

(I never follow this rule.)

(I love his comfy wool seats.)

**Rule#4: Don't mess with Skywarp**

(He is the biggest scaredy cat, ever.)

(So scaring him was gonna fun.)

(It turns out that the seekers stand up for Skywarp like a little brother.)

(Thundercracker actually dropped me off into the middle of the pacific ocean!)

(Thank god Jetfire and Jetstorm tailed him before he made it to the beach.)

(I have a deep fear of sharks now.)

(And Thunder-crapper sucks.)

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**I think I did okay, and I'm happy with doing requests! ****I'm that mellow.**


	2. Rules 5-11

**Thanks NightmareFlames for Rule# 5**

**And Autobotgirl2234 for Rule# 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 and 11**

**Hope you enjoy!**

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**Rule#5: Don't make Optimus watch a scary spider movie**

(I was having a scary movie night.)

('Bee was exited about it, Bulkhead was a little concerned about it and said 'little kids shouldn't watch horror movies.')

(I found it cute.)

(While Sari got everything ready like the snacks, I went to get Optimus to watch it with us. He thought about it for a while but then decided to join in.)

(The first movie we watched was a dumb mistake.)

(It was a scary spider movie.)

(Well, I didn't find it scary, but Optimus did.)

(I lost what I held dear that day.)

(I'll always miss them.)

(RIP plasma t.v.)

(May you find peace.)

**Rule#6: Don't give younger Autobots coffee, tea, hot chocolate, or any** **caffeinated drink**

(This includes cordial and soda)

(No one could sleep)

(Autobots deprived of recharge are scary)

(Even Optimus growled at me!)

**Rule#7: Never tell anyone about Jazz's secret stash of chocolate**

(Him and his chocolate!)

(I did tell Ratchet, and Ratchet took them away.)

(But Jazz just had to lock me in a dark room.)

(For two days!)

(If I wanna be locked up some where, I'll go to Megatron.)

**Rule#8: Never give Autobots sugar especially Prowl or Jazz**

(So, I'm not the only one that gets sugar high.)

(Jazz and Prowl were found asleep.)

(Naked on a Ferris wheel, covered in candy, and the Decepticon symbol.)

(I took a photo and send it to Megatron.)

(I got a cookie for that!)

**Rule#9: Never let the Jettwins have a party when no one knows about it**

(I woke up in a tree, with no clothes on.)

(I'm killing the twins when I get back from where ever I am.)

**Rule#10: Never steal Jazz's secret stash of chocolate and then blame it on the Jettwins**

(He will find out who did that and then you will have to spend an entire week in the brig.)

(The Jettwins wouldn't help me get out of there early because they were still mad at me.)

(The brig is the most boring place in the entire universe because they won't even let you listen to music in there.)

(Music keeps me from acting crazy when I'm angry or upset.)

(The Decepticons are still worse.)

**Rule#11: Don't prank Jazz or Prowl**

(They are both ninjas.)

(When they are mad they can both be very scary.)

(I have the scars to prove it as well.)

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**Please leave a review on which rules you want next.**

**Bye and have a very nice day!**


	3. Rule 12-22

**Thanks NightmareFlames for rule#12, 13, 14**

**Skyress98 for rule#15, 16, 17**

**Guest for rule#18**

**Soniccouples10 for rule#19 **

**guest for rule#20**

**verner2 for the ideas for rule#21**

**And Autobotgirl2234 for rule#22**

**Thank for your reviews, and I hope you enjoy!**

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**Rule#12: Never sing the most annoying song ever around Starscream**

(The mech needs to take a chill pill, it was only a song for Primus sake.)

(Well, a very annoying song, but still a song!)

(He didn't have to go all agro on me and give me the worse punishment ever.)

(He forced me to go back to school.)

(That is low Screamer, so, so low.)

**Rule#13: Never call Megatron, Mega Large**

(If you haven't notice, the Autobots are big.)

(But the Decepticons are fragging ginormous!)

(And Megatron is huge! Even among the others, so is Lugnut but his nickname is Frag-nut!)

(I called Megz, Mega large!)

(I called him that a couple of times.)

(He doesn't like it.)

(Not one bit.)

(Starscream got a good laugh out of it, but he got beaten into a scrap heap.)

(I fear for my safety now.)

**Rule#14: Never ask Prowl if he's silent but deadly**

(I'm scared for life.)

(I'm serious, he grabbed out his throwing stars and ditched them at me!)

(I have scares all over my body now.)

(But most of them are from Frag-nut.)

**Rule#15: Don't let Ratchet watch health shows**

(He put Sari and I on a diet.)

(Me + diet = Not going to last long.)

(The lecher we got was about eating healthy, which I didn't listen to.)

(The next day I came to base with food.)

(Which was a bucket of chicken, a pack of M&M's, a two litre of Pepsi, and a bucket of ice cream.)

(While eating my feast, Ratchet walked into the room.)

(He glitched so hard that I saw sparks and smoke coming out of his armour.)

(After he recovered he took away all my food and locked them up.)

(I now eat in the Decepticon base.)

**Rule#16: The Dinobots are NOT allowed to watch anything that has to do with Dinosaurs**

(I was bored.)

(So I started watching anything that was on TV, which was some show called Dinosaur Revolution.)

(While watching it the Dinobots came to visit, and the second they landed eyes on it.)

"Box thing has Grimlock in it!"

(After that was said they all went over and took over the TV.)

(They watch the show every day now.)

(Bumblebee and I can't playing the game we just bought.)

(I will lose it if I can't play my precious GTA 5.)

**Rule#17: Don't tease Lugnut**

(The mech is the only Megatron suck up on this planet!)

(If I had to be stuck with a Megatron boot licker I'd pick Shockwave.)

(So, while stuck in the Decepticon base I started to make conversion with him.)

"So, how's life?"

(He just glared at me.)

"Fine! Be that way, you're nothing but Megatron's glitch anyway!"

(He nearly P.O.K.E.d me!)

(Thank god Blitzwing hates that thing and tackled Lugnut to the ground.)

**Rule#18: Never fill Sentinel's berth room with bugs, no matter how annoying he is**

(A group of Elite Autobots came to Earth and I wanted to meet their leader, Sentinel Prime.)

(I thought that he would be cool, seeing that the word Prime was in his name.)

(I was wrong.)

(That mech is worse than Lugnut, which is saying something seeing that Lugnut hates me more than anything in the universe.)

(I decided to put bugs in Sentinel's room.)

(He was out of that base faster than me running away from Ratchet's latest diet.)

(Optimus found out about it.)

(I got the biggest lecture in the history of boring!)

(The jerk deserved it though!)

**Rule#19: If Sentinel has a stash of high grade don't let anyone in there, you'll get a nasty hangover**

(Like it said up top, don't touch his high grade.)

(But a dumb youngling just had to be retarded enough to do that.)

(The youngling got a couple of dents in his armour.)

(I wonder who's dumb enough to do that!)

"*Cough* 'Bee! *Cough*"

**Rule#20: Getting Sentinel to watch the Transformers Prime universe**

(The nag is strong with this one.)

(I'm dead serious, he wouldn't stop talking about it afterwards!)

(He went from questions like.)

"Why aren't I in it?"

(To questions like.)

"Who's Knock Out?"

(Now I wish Lugnut P.O.K.E.d me.)

**Rule#21: Blitzwing and marshmellows do NOT mix**

(He's stuck on Random.)

(The crazy but adorable mech went on a pranking spree.)

(Blitzwing painted Sentinel pink, orang, and eye searing neon.)

(Besides the fact that it was funny, Blitzwing and I are now cuffed up in the Autobot ship.)

(I only hope that Blitzy won't remember this. He can be scary if he wants to.)

**Rule#22: Never let Jazz try to broaden your musical horizons**

(He wouldn't stop!)

(The mech is cool and all, but he can't make me change my chose of music!)

(What does he have against Weird Al and Rucka Rucka Ali anyway?)

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**Leave a review on which rules you'd like next, and good bye my awesome pals!**


	4. Rule 23-34

**Thanks Guest for rule#23**

**Raphaelplusmikey for rule#24, 25, 26, 27**

**And NightmareFlames for rule#28, 29, and 30**

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**Rule#23: Putting bugs in Sentinel's armour while he is in recharge is not allowed either**

(Remember rule#21?)

(Well, after getting out from my prison cell in the Autobot ship, Blitzwing, while he was still stuck on Random, and I went to get our revenge on Big-chin.)

(Very bad idea.)

(Sentinel was going to let us off, which I really do doubt.)

(But Blitzy and I decided to put bugs in his armour.)

(Well, we're on our way to the Autobot council to await our trail.)

(Wish Blitzy and I luck!)

**Rule#24: Never let Blitzwing (Random) sing down by the bay, just... DON'T**

"Down by ve bay, vere ve vatermelons grow, back to vi home, I dare not go"

(That is what Blitzy wouldn't stop doing while on the Autobot ship to the council.)

(He wouldn't stop singing that song.)

(I joined in on torturing the 'bots with our bad singing skills.)

(They then decided to strap those things on our mouths.)

(Seeing that they were pissed off at us at the time, they put them on a little too tight.)

(It hurt when I do this with my jaw- OUCH!)

**Rule#25: Never tell Sentinel that in TFP Optimus is the leader of the Autobots**

(Blitzy and I got trailed for disrespecting a Prime, pfft right! And being Decepticons, I then decided to this.)

"Well! Optimus Prime from TFP is the leader of the Autobots!"

(Sentinel made sure I was sent to a 'special' cell.)

(He put me in one of those 'this is where the crazy and insane prisoners go' cells. I even have a straitjacket on!)

(I swear I can hear Blitzy in the next cell.)

**Rule#26: Never have a laughing attack around the Jet Twins**

(I was thinking about the time I manage to make Lugnut trip over onto Megatron.)

(The position they were in was hilarious!)

(The image made me laugh.)

(But outside my cell was the Jet Twin and they didn't get it.)

"I'm not seeing why prisoner laugh, brother."-Jetstorm

"Me neither, brother."-Jetfire

(And the twins talking just made my laughing even more.)

"Ve quite, or I'll punch jor vace in!"-Blitzwing (Hothead)

(I was then escorted to a different cell.)

(And this new cell SUCKS.)

(It's too fragging quiet!)

(And I'm not allowed to play poker with the other prisoners.)

**Rule#27: Never lock Jazz and Prowl in a closet**

(Before I went to prison, I managed to put Jazz and Prowl in a closet and then lock it.)

(They got pissed off and did a lot of damage to the place and me.)

(But most of the damage happened to me.)

(They started going out afterwards.)

(All the Autobots went to the med bay to see me and I got gifts.)

(Ratchet was also extra careful.)

(I do regret a thing.)

**Rule#28: Never blame Sari for stealing ruststicks**

(Also before I went to the high security prison, I stole some of Bulkhead's ruststicks.)

(He soon came to my room in the base and asked if I saw his ruststicks.)

(I said Sari stole them! He then went and asked Sari if she did take them. She also said no, but I kind of framed it on her. Bulkhead then looked in her room and found the rucksticks. Sari was in the brig for day, seeing that the Autobots are soft on her. Afterwards, Sari looked on the security tapes and saw the real theft on camera.)

(I was locked up in the brig for three days.)

(They also said I'm not allowed around Ramjet anymore.)

(Dear Optimus, who said I learned to lie from RJ?)

**Rule#29: Never give RatShit a hug and tell him you love him**

(Optimus bailed me out of prison and took me back to the Autobot base on Earth.)

(When we got off of the ship, I ran all the way to Ratchet and hugged him while yelling out I love you and missed you very much!)

(He glitched.)

(Afterwards, when he got better from his glitching. Doctor Doom, that's his little nickname, went after me with his wrench.)

(Do you know what it's like to run all over Detroit while having an Ambulance truck after you?)

(It's not fun, especially when I got caught.)

(Let's just say, I'm now afraid of anything with the colour red or white on it.)

**Rule#30: Never ask Optimus about why he is scared of spiders**

(He went into a cold sweat and started to stutter.)

(Come on! I don't understand his condition.)

(He probably has a bad case of Arachnophobia.)

(A very bad case of it.)

(It explains why he took me back to the Decepticons.)

**Rule#31: Never scare the Constructicons**

(Blitzy and I went and got some stuff for the base.)

(Translation: We were about to stir up some trouble.)

(Blitzy got a giant Werewolf suit, when I got a spider suit.)

(We put them on and decided to try and scare the 'cons.)

(Turns out, the Constructicons are afraid of spiders, just like Prime.)

(They then transformed into Devastator and proceeded in trying to squish me!)

(I'll never scary them again.)

**Rule#32: Never call Shockwave a reindeer**

(We had a visit from Shocky today, I've never meet the guy and I REALLY wanted to meet him.)

(When I finally met him, this was my reaction.)

"I wanted to meet Shockwave, not Rudolph the red eyed reindeer!"

(He had no idea about what I said.)

(So, he searched it up on the Internet. He was really pissed off.)

(I found myself being picked up and then taken away to the Lad of doom!)

(It scared me when he said this.)

"I've always wanted to see the insides of a human."

(Thank Primus I can turn into a Cybertronian as well.)

(I transformed into my bot mode and as soon as I left the lad, I bolted all the way to my room.)

(I've learned my lesson.)

**Rule#33: Don't label me anything!**

(I've heard rumours about me being labelled 'Hottest Decepticon femme'. I then spitted out my entire cup of energon.)

(Mixmaster! When I get my hands on you, I'll offline ya', ya' stupid fraggin' mech!)

(I'll kill Sunstorm for supporting the dumb idea, too!)

(Seriously, I'm also the youngest as well! I'm even younger than Bumblebee and Sari!)

**Rule#34: No wolf whistling the following mechs; Optimus, Jazz, Prowl, Megatron, Starscream, and Blitzwing**

(Optimus was a little concerned about my mental health when I did it to him.)

(Jazz told me he isn't into humans.)

(Prowl tried to throw one of his Cyber-throwing stars-thingys at me.)

(Megatron tried to make me take pills, I seriously don't need them!)

(Starscream tried to shoot me with his null rays, epic fail if you want to know.)

(Blitzwing had no idea of what I was doing, so he joined in. The biggest mistake him made was wolf whistling, Ratchet.)

(Now Blitzwing thinks he's a pretty pony from the planet Batman.)

(And they say I need pills.)

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**I love the PM's I get from you guys XD I swear, you all make my day! I don't care if you randomly want to talk! I'll still talk to you! Okay, thanks for the people who like this and please leave a review on what rules you want.**


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